New Project!

Hi My Little Darlings!

My best friend and I have come up with this fantastic idea to keep each other updated on our lives, video letters. So, I just started a YouTube Channel that will have all sorts of fun stuff on there. Please check it out. Here is my first episode:

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Love Expert Debunked

The most prevalent theme in our culture is heard in nearly every song, seen in practically every movie and read about in almost every book. People have studied it, erected monuments to it, lived and died for it. Love. Love, it appears, is what we as a society eats, sleeps and breathes. It seems as though it is what literally makes the world go round. Love is probably the most lucrative idea our world has ever tapped into. It is the most integral thing that defines us as human beings.

What is it about love that captures us so? I think the answer to that question is as elusive as the subject matter. It’s as if a well in each of is touched with every glance, with every fluttering or caress; and that feeling that is produced in those moments has become our greatest addiction. We will go to the ends of the earth and beyond in the name of love. We will give all the wealth of our house for love. And like Romeo and Juliet, though fiction, we will give our very lives for love.

Such a lofty concept, it seems it can never be confined to a box, no matter how hard we try; and yet, there are those that claim to be experts of it. Individuals that carry an extremely high opinion of their knowledge, as it pertains to matters of the heart. As if they have bottled it or discovered the infallible formula for it. Such faith in their ability to give you that one thing you desire most that they charge a fee for their services.

I googled “love expert” just to see what I was dealing with and 28,700,000 results were produced. My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. On the first page alone, every website listed was a different person claiming they had the golden ticket. How can this be? When the Johnny and Junes of the world seem so rare.

I did a little research and though the divorce rate has dropped from a whooping 50% in the 80s to about 40% in present time, some say that this is only because people are getting married less and less. In my continued research, I found this to be true. One article in the Huffington Post claims that the marriage rate is sitting at 31.1 at the moment, which means for every 1,000 women only 31 of them will get married this year. As a comparison, they stated that in the 1920s the marriage rate was at a staggering 92.3. My how the mighty have fallen.

After finding out all this information, the first question to pop into my mind is, how do love experts measure their success? Is it simply getting couples to the altar? If so, to that I say, big deal. You could get Britney Spears and her childhood friend to a Vegas chapel for a marriage that lasts exactly one day. I could care less how many people you can get to say I do. What matters is how many of those people that say I do actually stay married. Now, I’m a bit of a realist, so while I believe that marriage should last for the rest of your life, I know the culture we live in. So, for me a success for someone in this profession should be a marriage with a ten year minimum. That may sound harsh, but anyone can fake it for a few years to save face. Longevity implies work, sacrifice and true sustained emotion.

So what does this all mean? I think it means that there really is no such thing as a love expert. Not because love is so mysterious and unpredictable, as many would claim, but because we are. Love isn’t what changes, we do. Love doesn’t throw in the towel and give up, we do. It isn’t flighty or unreliable, we are. If love were any of those things it would be contradicting itself. Any person with an ounce of wisdom will tell you that love isn’t uncontrollable. It isn’t something you can just fall in and out of. Love is more than just a sentiment, it is a choice. It’s why so many of these so-called love experts have degrees in psychology. They studied the science of the mind and behavior, of what? Not love, of humans. We are the controllers of love; and because of that there will never be a formula, or potion or golden ticket. So, my advice to you is keep your money. Spend it on something that makes you happy today, not on the false hope of a happy tomorrow.

My One Night of Debauchery (New Years Eve)

As promised, I am delivering the story of my crazy New Year’s celebration. First let me say, any New Years I have had in the past were strictly PG-13. When I was younger, it usually entailed going to Bayside with my family to be on the beach, play the boardwalk games and see the fireworks. As I got older it usually meant being at a conference with about 20,000 strangers, very anti-climactic. For once I wanted a stereotypical night of drinks, party hats, dancing and an entire room full of people counting down and kissing each other when the ball drops. I wanted the last scene from “When Harry Met Sally.” Well, let me tell you, we are not in the early 90s my friend. All that PG-13 crap has flown out the window.

The night started off pretty innocently. My friend came over to my house to change after work. We both had a glass of pink champagne and headed out to a place called Kelly’s to meet up with some people. When we arrived the night was in full swing. Everyone was dressed up and decked out in New Year’s Eve garb. My friend and I got ourselves a drink and joined the fun. Apparently, we were late to the drinking game cause while we were completely sober-minded, others were so piss drunk they couldn’t even tell you their own names. I’m talking super sloppy, which is not really my scene. About twenty minutes in, I’m getting pulled onto the dance floor by some drunk rando that grabbed my arm as I was talking to my friend. I was about two seconds from tasering him when this blonde girl he was with whispered in my ear, begging me to save her and just dance with him once. I decided to do her a favor so, here I am with a completely stranger too wasted to tell me his name when I asked and he’s swinging me around on the dance floor. Meanwhile, I’m looking at my friends like, “why did I agree to this?” Apparently, my face was so priceless, my friend took a picture and posted in on social media without my knowledge. Later on, another drunk guy rams into my friend and proceeds to try and apologize, but all I got was “You guys are hot….” slur, slur, slur.

Midnight rolls around and by this time I have two drinks and a Jello shot in me, so when a friend of a friend, whom I had just met asks for a kiss, I consent. Totally not my personality. Confession time: I haven’t kissed a guy in like three years, maybe longer, before this night. I guess I just thought I was overdue. HUGE MISTAKE! It was mediocre, at best. Moving on, we decided to leave to another spot across the street, but not before one of the people in our group gets a penis hat from the balloon animal guy. At this point, I am having a good time, but officially out of my comfort zone.

Finally, we ended the night at this really sketchy gay bar where we went to dance. I expected “Birdcage,”  I got something entirely different. Proof of my naivety and total lack of experience. This place was so not on the level, at one point some random stranger walked up to me on the dance floor and asked me if I or any of the people I was with had cocaine. Time to go. Shamefully, this is where I kissed the friend of a friend again. I thought maybe the first time was a fluke, it wasn’t.

All in all, waking up the next day I harbored regrets. Though I did not get drunk, not even close, I kissed a random nobody and it just wasn’t me. And that’s just it, I have to be true to myself. I am a good girl through and through and for the first time, I’m not only proud of it, I prefer it. I have walked on the wild side and I find I would rather be at home reading a book and knitting. Don’t get me wrong, I like going out and will continue to do s , in moderation; but “going out” for me looks very different than it does for most; and I discovered I am more than okay with that.

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YOU’RE WELCOME!

Exciting News!!!

Hello My Little Darlings,

Sorry I have been MIA, but I figured it was time to take the bull by the horns. As many of you know, I’m in school getting my English degree; and though I have lamented that I am going to be thirty and just graduating, nevertheless, I am glad I’m finally going for the dream of becoming a full fledged professional writer. Being so close to my last two years has got me thinking a lot about the near future. Studying abroad, doing an internship, building my writing resume, etc… And I figured it’s time to get cracking on that list.

I did some research for freelance writing gigs and decided to submit some work to an online publication called Skirt Collective, please go check them out www.skirtcollective.com. Long story short, I got published! More importantly, I am about to be published yet again. I am thrilled with the relationship I am building with this publication and hope it will blossom and open other doors of opportunity.

I will be diving more into the freelance world, as my confidence has been boosted by the feedback I have received from readers and publishers. However, I don’t want to neglect you all, so I am writing this to say that I will be posting soon. It’s all about my crazy New Years that was straight out of a college drinking flick. Definitely glad its over and I never want to do it again. Hope your interest is peeked, because I don’t think the story will disappoint. Until next time!